Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
