I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
