The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
