so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
