He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
