in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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