Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
