have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
