in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
