What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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