..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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