I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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