Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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