I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
