We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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