Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
