He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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