dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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