I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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