I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
