did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You're like the curious george of whores
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Enjoy the penises
try to milk me bitch
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
