not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
