We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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