just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
