Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
