you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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