i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
