I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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