You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
