Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
