Apparently you make a good broom.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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