I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
