it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
