Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
