Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I cannot find my penis.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
