Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
