Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
