Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
