You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
