How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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