just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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