the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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