Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
