oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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