Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
