She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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