I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
