I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Randomize
