normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
