OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
