I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
