We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
