She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
