she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
