U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
